So here you see the CEME Relationship Model © configured as a triangle made up of 4 individual triangles. Communication (Green) and Empathy (Blue) make up the foundation.  Mindfulness (Purple) inverted distributes the weight to provide balance and creates a solid platform for effort (Red). What this says is that in order for our effort to have maximum impact we have to be mindful of how we communicate, who we are, and how that affects our ability to relate to others empathically.

COMMUNICATION = Verbal & non-verbal engagement with others.  (Expression)

  1. Bullet Feedback loops (Verbal and non Verbal)

  2. Bullet Styles of Communication (Passive, Passive-Aggressive, Aggressive, & Assertive strategies)

EMPATHY = How we understand ourselves & others. (Compassion & Understanding)

  1. Bullet Attachment styles (Secure, Insecure / Anxious, Avoidant, Disorganized)

  2. Bullet Underlying Assumptions

  3. Bullet Core Belief’s (Self & Partner)

  4. Bullet Consistent & Stable Boundaries

  5. Bullet Reasonable Expectations

MINDFULNESS = The ability to deconstruct feelings & circumstance as they are happening (Awareness)

  1. Bullet Observable Awareness (External & Internal)

  2. Bullet Riding out strong emotions without action

  3. Bullet Deconstruction (Choice, Restraint, & Clarity)

  4. Bullet Personal Accountability 

  5. Bullet Openness to new or contradictory information

EFFORT = You get out of it what you put into it. (Efficacy)

  1. Bullet The Want To (Desire)

  2. Bullet Follow through

  3. Bullet Pro-Active Persistence

  The CEME Model © focuses on the individuals 1st (partner & others 2nd) and the ability to identity and advocate for your needs.  As such it relies on heavily on personal accountability & acceptance.  It confronts blaming & shaming (Tit for Tat), projecting, dismissing or displacing feelings and responsibility on to others and promotes observable awareness (the ability to see what is happing and identify patterns accurately in the moment), direct and respectful communication, desire & follow-through (effort), and empathic awareness (the ability to identify, understand, and meet the needs of others).  We must first understand ourselves; how and why we respond the way we do to stressful and upsetting stimulus (otherwise known as “triggering events” or “triggers”) and how that affects our ability to communicate, empathize, problem solve, and advocate for our needs within primary and secondary relationships.  This level of understanding and insight is crucial when attempting to understand and meet the needs of others you seek to have safe & intimate relationships with (reciprocity). 


are the catalyst for change not others.

Communication  Empathy  Mindfulness & Effort